Part 1: Why Is Christmas So Hard?
The Christmas period is often painted as the most wonderful time of the year, stuffed with sparkling lights, joyful music, and warm gatherings with loved ones. Yet for many, Christmas feels like an overwhelming challenge. If you’ve ever wondered why this supposedly joyous season can leave you feeling stressed, lonely, or miserable - you are not alone. So, let’s ask the question, why is Christmas so hard?
The Pressure to Be Perfect
Christmas is steeped in expectations—perfect gifts, perfect decorations, and perfect family moments. Social media can amplify this pressure, flooding our screens with curated snapshots of festive perfection. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison, feeling like your efforts will never measure up. This drive for perfection can leave you exhausted and disappointed.
Solution: Try redefining what "perfect" means for you this Christmas. What are small, meaningful moments that you can focus on and enjoy?
Financial Stress
The gift-giving tradition can turn Christmas into an expensive burden. We can feel compelled to spend beyond our means, fearing disappointment or judgement if we don’t deliver the “right” presents. The financial burden can linger well into January, adding to the feeling of stress and mid-winter exhaustion.
Solution: Set a realistic budget and stick to it. Consider homemade gifts, acts of service, experiences or organising a Secret Santa gift share. You might also consider not giving gifts if this frees up finances and mental capacity for yourself and others. Remember, thoughtfulness outweighs price tags.
Family Dynamics
While Christmas is often sold to us as a time for togetherness, family gatherings can be a source of tension. Old conflicts, unresolved issues, or differing values can bubble to the surface, making Christmas feel more like a battlefield than a celebration.
Solution: Set boundaries and manage expectations. It’s okay to say no or limit time with people who trigger unresolved trauma, and to seek time with people who fill your emotional cup. Spending Christmas alone is also a viable option not to be discredited, if that’s what you want.
Loneliness
For those without close family or friends, Christmas can be a glaring reminder of isolation. Even in a crowded room, people can feel lonely if they’re grieving, navigating a breakup, dealing with unspoken struggles, unresolved traumas or overwhelm.
Solution: Seek out opportunities to connect in your community. Volunteering or joining local events can help foster a sense of belonging, as well as spending time with like-minded individuals who you can empathise with and enjoy their companionship.
The Emotional Weight of Nostalgia
Christmas has a way of stirring up memories, both joyful and painful. The absence of loved ones through distance, estrangement, or loss, can feel especially heavy this time of year. The pressure to feel happy only compounds these emotions.
Solution: Allow yourself to grieve and honour those feelings. Create new traditions to celebrate the present whilst acknowledging and cherishing the past.
Overcommitment and Burnout
Between work parties, shopping, cooking, and decorating, it’s easy to spread yourself too thin. Many end up feeling like they’re running a marathon rather than enjoying the season.
Solution: Prioritise and delegate. Say yes only to what truly matters to you, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. Remember: Christmas can be a restful time too!
A New Approach to Christmas
By letting go of unrealistic expectations and focusing on what genuinely brings you joy, you can create a Christmas experience that feels more authentic to you.
In Part 2, we’ll look at how we might let go of our preconceived ideas of Christmas, and create new expectations for ourselves and for the festive period.
Until then, remember: Your Christmas, your rules.
@Ease Creative Integrative Therapies with Val Phillips 2024
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